This is a Valentine's card sent to John from loving wife, who evidently has impeccable taste for this page, making it a perfect addition...
Make your own Fluffy Rabbit
If this fails to please, here are instructions for making your
very own cardboard fluffy rabbit. It will give seconds and
seconds of fun and increase your popularity with other
innocents...
Find a toilet roll and remove all toilet paper, saving a few
sheets. Cut two long, rabbit shaped ears from another piece of
cardboard, possibly a second toilet roll if you are feeling
daring, or have a life time's supply and are feeling reckless
enough to sacrifice two rolls in one go. Also cut out two stumpy
short feet and two much larger feet complete with legs, also from
cardboard. I don't think you'll be able to get all of these from
the same second roll, so this time you'll have to sacrifice a
cereal packet. All Bran packets are good as there are some brown
parts for the natural look, but the more adventurous may prefer
dazzling and vibrant shades, in which case steer well clear of
Shredded Wheat - yellow is just such a tacky colour for rabbits.
Now you'll need some whiskers. Well, if you've taken my advice
and chosen an All Bran packet, you'll now have an abundance of
rather chunky rabbit whiskers over the floor from where you cut
through the packet by mistake. Otherwise, I'm afraid it's another
scissors session with the cereal packet.
Now we're ready for assembly. Get some glue. Paper glue is
fun, being so messy, and I can recommend Evostick contact
adhesive for the smell, but the real McCoy here is cyanoacrylate
adhesive. This means you can stick the rabbit bits and your
fingers together all at once. Do remember that it should not be
used on small sisters' lips, no matter how tempting it is since
there are few excuses for doing this that will convince a parent
of your innocence. Although breaking the tube of glue in half and
getting them to smear it on themselves usually works reasonably
well the first time.
It doesn't really matter which order you glue the pieces
together, nor their exact position - noone is going to be
convinced that a cardboard bog roll is really a rabbit, no matter
how much glue you've used on it, so you may as well go for
abstract right from the start. Don't forget to crumple up the few
sheets of toilet paper left over into a small ball, cover it with
lashings of glue and ram it up the hole in the cardboard tube so
that enough sticks out enough to be vaguely convincing as a tail.
Remember that All Bran whiskers look best at the other end from
the tail and if you can't get them to stick properly, yes you can
eat them from the non-gluey end but stop before you get to the
glue, otherwise you'll end up looking like your sister's lips.
Now the finishing touches. There is really no colour but
fluorescent pink for cardboard fluffy rabbits. A big spray can of
the stuff is the business, since you will create a nice pink
environment at the same time for your rabbit to play in and be
ready camouflaged. Failing this, a fairly big tin of enamel paint
will do, but not that wishy washy easy-clean emulsion rubbish.
That just comes off everything far too easily. A helpful tip, if
your rabbit is still stuck to your fingers, is to leave it there,
extend your arm (assuming this is not glued as well) and spray
using the free hand. If you're careful you will be able to spray
just the rabbit and not your arm, but that's just so, so, so
boring that I recommend you shut your eyes while doing it. Do
make sure there are no responsible adults in the room or sure as
eggs get broken and sisters lips get stuck together with
SuperGlue, they will stop the fun.
Lastly, if you're worried about getting the rabbit off your
hand, don't. The glue is pretty strong and you can always add a
bit extra if it starts falling off. Then you can look pretty cool
and carry your fluffy rabbit around with you everywhere to show
off to your friends, or to anyone who will look for that matter.
To Index page To top of page
last updated 18sep02